That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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