YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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