the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
