I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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