Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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