she looked like the before picture.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
