escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
