im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
