you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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