idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
