she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
