Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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