awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
