The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize