It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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