I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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