my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
