I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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