people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
