I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
