I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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