Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's official drugs can't kill me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
