Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
