I think I am morally bankrupt
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
