someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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