And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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