Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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