drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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