saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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