i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
