She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
