she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
