Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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