at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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