To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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