12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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