Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
