i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the liver wants what the liver wants
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
