My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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