I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
