dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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