I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
