So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
