I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
