Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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