hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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