We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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