I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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