You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
