whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
