I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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