I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Randomize
