Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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